


Titular Assets

by DragonWyrd316



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Gen, Humor, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-28
Updated: 2014-10-28
Packaged: 2018-02-22 23:26:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2525573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonWyrd316/pseuds/DragonWyrd316
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perhaps the Inquisitor should pay more attention to what she wears to sleep in... or doesn't wear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Titular Assets

The sun shone through the windows, spearing directly onto her bed. Enjoying the warmth spreading over her, Niemah purred in contentment and let the sheet covering her slip down around her waist. It was a rare day when the morning air didn’t bring a chill with it.

The men trudged up the stairs, curious as to why the Inquisitor had not yet shown herself for the day. Dorian opened the door to her rooms, a smirk curling his lips as he saw his friend sunbathing, as it were, in her bed. Stepping further in, he swallowed a laugh as the four men behind him stopped suddenly in their tracks, eyes fixated on the half nude woman before them. Not letting her partially naked state deter him, he crossed the length of the bedroom and curled up beside her, resting his head on the nature made pillows.

“I swear, Dorian, for someone not into women, you sure have a thing for my breasts,” Niemah chuckled, letting her friend snuggle up beside her in the sun warmed bed.

“What can I say, my dear, but that they are so nice and soft and beg a man of any preference to lay his head upon them?”

Huffing out a laugh, she twined her fingers through the hand of the arm that had wrapped around her waist, unaware of the way Dorian waggled his eyebrows at their audience still standing stock still near the doorway. “We so need to get a man for you.”

“That, we do, my dear. That we do. By the by, you may want to know that there are four pairs of eyes that are quite enamored of your, ah, _tit_ ular assets, sweetheart.”

Groaning, Niemah yanked the pillow out from under her head and shoved it over her face. “Do I even want to know who? Nevermind, I think I can guess. Would you be a dear and cover me up, please?”

“Already done,” Dorian replied, pulling the sheet up to cover his friend’s partial nudity.

“I must admit, those are some fantastic beauties. I can see why you’re so enamored of our lady, Blackwall. Hell it’s enough to even tempt me to try out a human,” Varric’s voice rasped out in a laugh. His reply was met by said man’s hand slapping over his eyes. A second hand covered Blackwall’s and he responded in kind, effectively blinding Cullen’s vision as well. Iron Bull stood off to the side, a low rumble of a laugh escaping his lips.

At that, Niemah peeked out from under the pillow, catching the amused gaze of the qunari as he stared at her, and the quirk of Varric’s lips - well what she could see from beneath Blackwall’s hand.

“All right, all of you, out! Out, I said!” she repeated a second time when none of the four showed any intent to move; Bull enjoying the show too much while the two human men were doing their best to keep the others from seeing what they shouldn’t.

Leaping from her bed, Niemah snatched up the pillow that had been covering her face and threw it at them. “Go! I’ll be downstairs in a moment!”

Bull’s grin grew wider as he took in the entirety of his fearless leader’s body and let out an appreciative whistle. Hands dropped as the men listened to her third order, though at her nudity, they were all effectively frozen back into place.

“Sweetheart, I think you’re going to ruin them all for anyone else if you keep standing there in the altogether as the Maker made you,” Dorian purred from his spot on the bed. The sound of his voice snapped everyone back into action and the four quickly scurried out, though the Bull lingered, watching as Trevelyan dove back under the covers with a shriek.

“Maker… I don’t know if I even want to leave my room now,” she groaned, shoving her head into the pillow.

“Oh don’t be like that, my dear. I think you just made their day, especially Blackwall’s, if his expression was anything to go by. I don’t think you’ll have any problems luring him to your bedroom after this,” Dorian snickered, placing a kiss on his friend’s shoulder as he removed himself from the soft mattress.

“Shoo! I’ll remember this when the time comes that you find a man of your own.”

Laughing, Dorian let himself out of the Inquisitor’s bedroom. Today was going to be a good day - he could feel it.

 


End file.
